she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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