Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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