Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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