I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize
