so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
