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im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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