My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am available for nakedness