well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive