...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just blew my weed a kiss
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
