Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.

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  (978): Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war. http://tfl.nu/fra3
  Replies (11) Good night (1027) Bad night (3543)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself

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  (321): Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself http://tfl.nu/yztr
  Replies (19) Good night (4443) Bad night (997)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.

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  (913): Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it. http://tfl.nu/o6yg
  Replies (16) Good night (3458) Bad night (1058)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.

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  (828): As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance. http://tfl.nu/tng6
  Replies (85) Good night (9468) Bad night (1335)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.

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  (309): i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex. http://tfl.nu/maqt
  Replies (29) Good night (937) Bad night (7468)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.

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  (402): i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night. http://tfl.nu/91q5
  Replies (7) Good night (976) Bad night (4818)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!

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  (440): We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis! http://tfl.nu/tuy6
  Replies (119) Good night (1842) Bad night (9853)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.

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  (512): Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge. http://tfl.nu/qm3g
  Replies (21) Good night (3481) Bad night (994)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.

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  (206): I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well. http://tfl.nu/k69f
  Replies (3) Good night (2471) Bad night (648)
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  (916): View more from California

  I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up

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  (916): I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up http://tfl.nu/ccq8
  Replies (5) Good night (2742) Bad night (979)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

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  (414): in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself. http://tfl.nu/j69f
  Replies (5) Good night (4007) Bad night (1697)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much

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  (518): I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much http://tfl.nu/5fop
  Replies (3) Good night (1332) Bad night (601)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count

  (516): View more from New York

  then nothing in my life counts

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  (860): official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count (516): then nothing in my life counts http://tfl.nu/4fe8
  Replies (8) Good night (1910) Bad night (566)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.

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  (720): You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero. http://tfl.nu/rgb3
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (289)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.

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  (941): When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel. http://tfl.nu/2hjl
  Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (428)

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