my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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