Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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