two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
