I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i need some magic done to my vagina
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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