I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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