Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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