He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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