I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
