dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
