I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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