i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
