His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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