that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
