me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
