I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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