I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
