Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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