Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
