one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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