gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize