He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I deserve this hangover.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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