I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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