Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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