So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize