Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
