she was so not down for the gang bang
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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