yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
