He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
