I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
