Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
