2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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