the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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