I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
