Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
