Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
