Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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