Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
