Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
