When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
