Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize