so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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