Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
