This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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