Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize