I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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