Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
