i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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