just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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