What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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