Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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