I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
