make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
