nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize