where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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