She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
