I looked at my own cervix.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
