I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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